Kimberly’s father’s home in Mexico was a very small “tent looking” structure, she says. He spent most of his young life working, and never attended high school. Her mother also lived in poverty. They knew they wanted to have a family but after their own experience felt Mexico would not give their children the kind of future they deserved.
So 22 years ago, when her mother was pregnant with her older sister, the couple made a long and tiring trek across the border to the US. Born in the United States, Kimberly, who requested anonymity, and her two sisters are now educated US citizens. Their parents remain undocumented; for more than two decades, they have lived under the radar working the low-paid jobs that keep America running – as cleaners, in childcare and in construction.
But while Kimberly says her parents are safe for now, she worries that could change at any moment. She says life feels “unreal” and “like a nightmare” since US President Donald Trump began cracking down on illegal immigration, executing mass deportations since taking office in January – reigniting her lifelong fear of losing her parents.
“Now that I see how Trump is handling all of this, I think maybe it won’t be OK,” she told CNN.
“What I see now is that we’re kind of losing humanity. Nobody’s thinking or nobody’s perceiving you as a person. They’re just perceiving you as a thing,” she says. “My parents might not have papers or the legal documents to live here, but they are also human… a piece of paper doesn’t make you human.”
Her whole life, Kimberly says she and her sisters often imagined US Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers knocking on doors and pulling families out.
“I remember as a kid being in the car and always looking back to see if there were any police cars because there would be times when people would get pulled over and they wouldn’t know where the police cars came from,” she told CNN.
“My family and I were always on guard to make sure that we were not just driving safely, but also making sure that we look as normal as we can be.”
As a child, she could tell her parents were nervous even though they tried to hide it. “It was most difficult to see how my parents reacted to the situation because as parents, you have to look like you’re strong and that everything is going to be OK so that your kids aren’t anxious or that they’re not worried. But I could see all of my parents’ emotions very clearly.”
For years, her family tried to live in places with other Mexicans so they could help support each other and blend in. Her parents worked long hours, often arriving home late at night. Their employers gave them the paperwork to file taxes and Kimberly emphasizes that her parents have always contributed to the US economy by paying taxes, despite their undocumented status.
When the girls were old enough to stay alone for a few hours after school, their mother started working two jobs. “We would spend around maybe two hours before my mom came home, and then my mom would cook dinner and she would make sure that we were OK before going off to her second shift and then throughout that time my sisters and I would do homework, study,” she said.
“My youngest sister was around 4 or 5 at the time, and so when she would ask when my parents are coming home, I couldn’t give her a definite answer. All I could say was she’ll be home soon, and then an hour after she would ask again and I couldn’t really give her a straight answer. All I could do is come up with games or try to put her to sleep.”
Her parents thought about trying to file for green cards, but they heard that it could take years to become documented, and that they could be deported during the process – a risk they could not take with three young daughters.
Today, Kimberly says she worries her parents will be swept up in an immigration raid and sent to a detention facility – or even deported – without any notice. In those circumstances, it would be difficult for her to communicate with them and make sure they get back to Mexico safely, she says.
“Now when I see what’s going on with ICE, it’s exactly as I imagined it as a kid,” Kimberly said, referring to US Immigration and Customs Enforcement. “My biggest worry was that my parents would feel like everything they did for us was in vain, when really it wasn’t because my sisters and I got to get a great education.”
But if it happened, she would consider moving to Mexico to be with them – a reluctant reversal after living so much of the American dream that her parents had for her.
“There were many times when I was younger where my parents thought about going back to Mexico. And so my younger sisters and I would, all we could do was to cry and tell our parents that we didn’t want to go back,” she recalls.
Now a college student, she is preparing to do what she can to care for her parents, no matter what happens. “I’m a chemistry major and I’m about to start my clinical experience … and so I hope that at some point I will be able to provide for my parents the way they provided for me.”
“I’m really grateful that I was able to get that education and build my skills. So even if we ever have to go back to Mexico, I know that I will be prepared for anything and I know how to work my way up for things now and I was able to build a lot more confidence here and so I hope that that confidence will stay with me.”
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