Dear Bunmi, I was married for close on 10 years, but my husband was never around, and money was tight.
We had three children, and when I tried to make him see why he had to spend less on himself, so we could make ends meet, he didn’t want to know.
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To teach him a lesson, I moved out for a few days, to let him cope without me. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.
The day I left, my husband moved another woman into our matrimonial home. As soon as I realised this, I tried to go back home, but he wouldn’t take me back. That was years ago.
Dear Bunmi, I’ve never forgiven myself for not fighting for my children. I now have some contact with my two daughters, but their brother wants nothing to do with me, because he believes I deliberately abandoned them.
I can’t push back the hands of time, but I want to make things right with all my children.
Can you help?
Modesty, by e-mail.
Dear Modesty,
You made a bad decision years ago, and you need to forgive yourself for it. Don’t beat yourself up for not having the strength to fight – especially with a husband that was bent on revenge.
The speed with which he moved in another woman is indecent, to say the least.
Why not write to your children, even the daughters you have contact with? It’s quite possible they’re not aware of the whole story.
Tell them why you had to leave and let them know you’re proud of who they are and what they have accomplished.
Say you’ve thought about them every day and that if they would be willing to get to know you now, you will take things at their pace.
Their dad’s bitterness about your leaving must have given them the impression that you deliberately abandoned them.
And this has to be corrected.
The post Dear Bunmi, I moved out, he moved his lover in appeared first on Vanguard News.
